Anna – DeLuxe Massage

March 7, 2025 tomas.polacek.97 2 Comments 2 min read

Dear readers, I always try to be polite and constructive... but this "erotic" "massage" was a huge letdown. I wanted to try the newly promoted DeLuxe Massage salon and I got burned.

Ordering

It was done via SMS, in Czech, but very chaotic. It worked out, I got the address and confirmation.

Arrival

I ring the doorbell at the busy Havelské Market, it can't be opened remotely, a lady has to come and open it for me. I didn't know it was Anna yet. Unfortunately, I already noticed that she doesn't look like the one in the photos, but so be it.

We go upstairs, into the darkened spaces of the apartment converted into rooms, take off our shoes and go into the room. Nothing special, but not dingy either.

Location, masseuse and course of service

She yells at me, no kiss on the cheek, no handshake – for me, a cold approach with no attempt to establish a connection. Looks probably OK, but her strengths look a lot better in the photos, her face was also a bit different – a slight disappointment, her figure probably OK.

We arrive at the room, we speak Czech (she is Ukrainian), she speaks quite well. We agree on the length, what kind of massage, I demand the discount from Ťapka that I already reported via SMS – Anna doesn't know which one is the best and she has to go and confirm that this discount really exists. Ok, confirmed, payment in advance.

The room was very dark, like enough. The music from the mobile phone I had in my head (at least she turned it down when I asked) was that cheesy massage parlor music that I didn't really like.

He sends me to the shower alone, doesn't even ask about the shared one, hello. The shower is not fixed (drain), the water temperature fluctuates.

I go back to my room, lie down. Well… and at least half an hour of crazy boredom begins. First, cold oil (I don't like it, it's always supposed to be warm/hot!), slowly spreads it, as if caressing my body. Then, very regularly, slowly, she starts sliding her breasts down my back. Nuuuuuuuudaaaa, really, it's always the same. I try to talk to her at least a little, it's a bit possible, but I'm not there yet. Erotically below freezing, I wish I hadn't jerked it off at home.

Turn on your stomach, another portion of boredom. Well, and there are prohibitions – kissing on the body (or at least on the breasts). So he robotically erects it for me, robotically drives it. Somehow we make it to the end. I go to the shower alone again. Farewell again without GFE and I go to hell.

I mean, I'm kidding... I'm going for another massage in an hour to work up an appetite. But more about that in another review on Lola from CS. 🙂

záver

The newly promoted DeLuxe Massage salon has completely lost my trust and is on my personal blacklist. For me, it is a regular trap, the masseuse is aloof, prohibitions, complete disinterest in the client. I-JUMP-YOU-PAY-AND-YOU-GO-BYEBYE. For me, one, perhaps the worst “massage” I have ever had (about 15).